theschizoidman: (Default)
ETA 28/20/13: Added more concrete/organised notes, and a link to the fic this Ace comes from.

ETA: 1/7/13: Blanket warning for the entire journal:
Warnings for suicidal thoughts, psychosis, depression, and body dysphoria.

Individual entries will have any warnings listed, but those above are a general warning for the whole journal. If you're likely to be triggered by those, you might want to skip.

--

The fic in question that this Ace comes from is ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead. It's a queer Jewish Archangel Otherkin AU in which Ace Kefford is FtX, an Archangel otherkin, and schizophrenic. Xe's doing xyr best to survive, but it's not exactly easy.

Lots of character and universe notes under the cut )
theschizoidman: (Default)
[[ooc: I am not a poet, but that's what Ace wanted, so. Apologies in advance.]]

Such sweet sorrow, Death,
Sweeping souls to the sacred sepulchre,
In yonder halls, great gods delight,
Ghosts creep away from bright firelight.

Such sweet sorrow, Death,
Sent to live among the living,
Ugly sight, bright heavenlight,
Mangy dogs and fearful might.

Such sweet sorrow, Death,
Shut off, severed, sent down below.
Adonai, Elohim, for Azriel calls,
Such sweet sorrow, Lord, an angel to Fall.


Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 76
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

Week 207

Feb. 28th, 2014 11:33 pm
theschizoidman: (Default)
He asked me to dance, like, as we were heading home. Just back from the pub, like, we hadn't gone to Warwick, but it was enough to walk through the quiet streets. We were just passing this house, and there was this music playing, some old classical piece. And Trev just takes me hand and asks for a dance.

Read more... )

Muse: FtM!Archangel!Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 238
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

theschizoidman: (Default)
Read more... )

Muse: Archangel!Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 531
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
Content notes: brief talk of Ace dealing with dying souls and those left behind
theschizoidman: (Default)
Family is Trev, and maybe Nancy, and Charlie, and Lucifer. I had a proper family once, when I was a kid, but I haven't seen 'em for years. They left me. They ain't never loved me, anyway. But Trev does, he loves me. He's been there for me when not even my own mother cared. That's how I know he ain't gonna leave. The people who leave don't do that, not fer me.

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 73
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
theschizoidman: (Default)
Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 119
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
Warnings: vague references to hallucinations/psychosis.

theschizoidman: (Default)
I miss Him so much, Trev. I'm really feeling that today, how disconnected I am from the Heavens.Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 173
Warning: Suicidal thoughts
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

theschizoidman: (Default)
"I can see 'em, Trev, all these little flickering little lights. Can you see 'em, Trev?" Ace said.

They were out walking again, and in the early morning light, the bare trees that lined the street seemed to flicker in the mist. Ace walked over to one of the trees and reached out to one of the branches.

Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 492
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
Warning: Brief mention of hallucinations/psychosis.

theschizoidman: (Default)
Ace stopped on a corner, not recognising where xe was. The streets all looked strange at night, and xe wasn't sure xyr hallucinations weren't messing with xyr head. Urgently, xe reached for Trevor's hand and turned to the man standing beside xem.

"We're not bloody lost, are we? I don't like being lost, Trev. Where are we?" Ace asked, looking around at the unfamiliar houses.

"We're a couple of streets from home, Ace. We moved to a little village, remember? Near Lucifer's house?" Trevor said. "You said we should walk around the streets every night so you'd get used to them."

Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 643
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
theschizoidman: (Default)
Read more... )

Muse: Archangel!Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 138
Warnings: psychosis, offensive language (sexist, ableist)
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

theschizoidman: (Default)
Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford (Queer Jewish Archangel Otherkin AU)
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 502
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction
Warnings: suicidal thoughts and depression
theschizoidman: (Default)
Reincarnation's a bitch. Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford (Queer Jewish Archangel Otherkin AU)
Fandom: The Move RPF
Word Count: 224
Warnings: vague talk of psychosis, probably a little depression.
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction
theschizoidman: (Default)
Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 286
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction
Warnings: Psychosis, depression, vague suicidal thoughts
theschizoidman: (Default)
Hallowe'en terrifies me. The streets are filled with demons, and all I can do is hide away and pray. I'm too scared to leave the house. The demons will get me. They'll hold me down and torture me.

This one night on Earth is where Gehinnom crosses over, and all the terrors are released. All the demons run free, and I can't escape. Ha-Shem is so very distant, so very far away. I sing to the Heavens, but the demons steal my prayers. I'm all alone.

I've written prayers all over the walls. I hope it's enough to save me.

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 100
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction
theschizoidman: (Default)
  [Ace sits in bed, arms curled around xyr knees; xyr wings wrap around xem protectively, their soft white light the only light in the room. Xe stares straight ahead, body still and unwilling to move.]

I'm always scared. No one believes me, but I am. If they could see the things I see, they'd be scared too. So many great and terrible things you can't hardly imagine, and I see them all.

I'm just so frightened of everything, and I can't sleep because the voices keep me up. They keep whispering, and I keep seeing shadows everywhere. I'm so close to breaking, I can feel my sanity slipping away, but I can't do anything.

Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 441
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction
Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, psychosis
theschizoidman: (Default)
  I think I might've been a girl once, or was it a boy? I can't remember. I look down at my body and I can't remember if it's meant to be mine. Is it mine? Who am I anyway? This is all just so confusing. Am I the Archangel, or is it different to the human soul I got inside me? Sometimes I feel like I'm two different people, but even that sounds bonkers. I got enough mental problems without adding that to the mix, that's for sure.

[Xe gazes down at xyr body. Lifting up a hand, xe stares at xyr palm, unsure. Nothing about it looks at all familiar.] 

Bodies are such weird things. I don't know how you lot put up with them. How they define you so much. Yer not meant to do that. But maybe it's different for me. I ain't never lived with a body before, and humans are weird about that. They told me, every day they told me I was a girl as I grew up in this body. But that ain't so much fun. And then the Archangel turned up, and then I weren't sure what I was meant to be at all. Never could work out how to dress properly.

Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 723
Warnings: body dysphoria
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

theschizoidman: (Default)
[Ace sits very still, gazing blankly out the window. It's unclear what xe's thinking about. Xyr shoulders rise and shift, allowing xyr wings to settle in a more comfortable position. It is the only movement xe shows.]

I don't wanna talk about it. I don't normally think about it, even though I think about it every second of every day. But I know I should, because then maybe it'd hurt less. Maybe I'd be able to make sense of what happened that day.

Trigger warning: one mad, suicidal Archangel's ramblings under the cut )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 1,283
Warnings: Suicidal and depressive thoughts
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
theschizoidman: (Default)
[With deliberate force, xe scribbles over several figures drawn on a notepad, attempting to erase them from existence with a swift, barely audible spell.]

'Better off dead', that's what the voices sometimes say. I can hear 'em, all yelling in me 'ead, telling me I'm worthless. Sometimes, I can ignore 'em, and they don't worry me. But then I get vulnerable, and all I hear is their voices, and they're reminding me I was cast down from Gan Eden, a Fallen Angel, punished for turning away from Ha-Shem.

Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 337
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

theschizoidman: (Default)
[Xe draws a finger over the handle of a whip. It's made of leather, and the handle has complicated weaving and embossing on it, setting it apart from most of the other whips near it.]

Angels really love kink, y'know. I've run into so many of them in bondage clubs around town, even if they don't announce themselves. I know, though. I can feel 'em. I can see 'em easy now, plain as day. They got this look in their eyes, like when they're being submissive, and they got a Dom working 'em hard. They look like they're looking into the eyes of Ha-Shem, Adonai, the one we ultimately serve.

Read more... )

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 519
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.
theschizoidman: (Default)
[Ace thinks as xe traces patterns on the wallpaper with a pencil.] I do a lot of different work. Depends on the kind of work, though. Like, I deal with the visions an' read the cards cos I have to. I try to have a proper job, but it's hard fer me. I can't always do that. 'm not well, not fer work.

But I'm not meant to be here anyway. I'm not really human. I'm one of the Angels, that's what they told me, and I've been dreaming about it since I was a small lad. All eyes and sevens and swords of light. Weird shit like that.

Read more... )

[[OOC: This is what happens when my character goes from just being queer and mentally ill to being queer and a goddamn Archangel otherkin and demands a redrawing of xyr character. Thanks, Ace. Much appreciated. -_- BRB rewriting all my character notes omg. D:]]

Muse: Ace Kefford
Fandom: The Move RPF AU
Word Count: 844
Disclaimer: Complete work of fiction.

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Archangel Azriel // Ace Kefford

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